100 People who have died across the galaxy is a series of short stories.

14 - Tarbid Jenks

On the humming floating metropolis that was the citadel, a Quiboan in puffy garments stood by a fire, recounting an age old story from a time long, long ago.
"Lo' Travellers! And listen to this tragic story, at time romantic, and others gory."
"Let hear of the knight, who required no thenks, let hear of the knight, by the name of Sir Jenks."

Sir Jenks the Craven looked out beyond the rickety wooden bridge, surrounded by a moat of magma, and a huge imposing stone castle dead set in the center.
"This."
"Is"
"Fucking."
"Mental."

Bravely doth our knight did say "Oh fair maiden, i come for thee today!"
"To free thee from fearsome dragon claws, and bring you back, despite the odds!"

Sir Jenks looked down at his brass helmet and knifcles (for the uninitiated in historical weaponry, those are brass knuckles with knives strapped on.)

(Never say that Quiboans are subtle.)

"This is fucking mental." he repeated to himself. He unfurled a scroll.
"To all knights of the realm, let it be known that Lord Darent has offered a bounty of 4000 Acres to the knight who can return Princess Helana." he read aloud.
He began to walk forward, It WAS fucking mental, but he really, REALLY, needed the money he could get selling that land.
He checked behind him to see if his baliffs were still in pursuit, they had cleared off at the foot of the mountain.
"Phew." he said, wiping his brow, before placing his Brass helmet on.

"And so did Sir Jenks, braverly ride, cross the bridge where other men had failed and died!"
"And with a cry that through the ages would resound, he declared "Fearsome Dragon!, i shall not be downed!"

Sir Jenks walked towards the bridge, it was held with four large ropes, and small strings tying rotten looking wooden boards together.
He began to wlak along the terrifying trapiese slowly, the heat was nearly unbearable, he was already sweating under his suit of armour.
Jenks stopped for a moment to catch his breath, as he heard the sound of flapping leather.

He saw a lizard like beast, with wings the size of carts, dwarfing it's tiny body, steadily using a sharp claw to work it's way through the dingy rope.

He looked back, he had gone more than halfway over the bridge.
He screamed, desperatly sprinting, using all four of his slender legs, he dove forward, catching the beast with his weapon, the beast recoiled, it's wing slashed
and lost it's balance on top of the wooden stake, it fell with a curdling scream down into the magma below.

Sir Jenks carefully lowered his gaze over the side of the chasm, where he saw the beast struggling in the boiling magma. "Oh my lord." he said, to nobody in particular.
Well, on the bright side, the Dragon was slain.

"And lo' did our hero Sir Jenks, the fair, come riding through the castle gates, he yelled "treacherous Dragon!, Heed my call, for i am a Hero, tis my fate"
"Then with an application of great wit, he fooled the draconic twit, by leaving his suit at the gates"

Sir Jenks shifted slowly towards the bust open wooden door of the castle, his clankering armour being less than helpful to his task.
Sir Jenks walked backwards at this realisation, and escaped his brass prison.
He did keep the Helmet though, he looked quite handsome in that, he thought.

He had taken his brass knifcles as well, no point in being in totally unarmed.

He skulked around the outside of the castle, noting a singularly tall tower with a large circular opening.

Ha!" he exclaimed, pumping his tentacles in the air.
Deep within the halls of Deathmoor Keep, a collosal dragon opened it's eyes.

"Smooth sailing from here on!" thought Sir Jenks, stabbing his knifcle into the wall to use as crampons.

"And lo' did our fair hero Sir Jenks, arrive in the princess's chamber, and in the fair maiden's emerald eyes, were a burning passion of ember"

Jenks threw himself into the chamber at the top of the stone tower, into a finely furnished room of purples and blues, sitting on a fine looking bed was the fair maid detailed in the scrolls, Jenks scrambled himself to his feet only to bow before her.

The Quiboan princess wore a gown of blue satin, with white fluffy curls around the bottom of her head and down her tentacles.

She had a curious look in her Eye.

"Thank you for the courtesy, but, erm, why did you come in through the window?"

Jenks looked up at her, and was struck by her beauty.
"I, uhh."
He caught himself.
"The stealthy approach!, though i have slayed the fearsome dragon, caution never hurts."

The sound of a large fleshy claw smashing just outside the door of the Princess's cell rumbled through the stonework.

"Oh god."
"Uhh, please come with me." said Jenks, quickly, extending a hand,
The Princess held onto his hand, and Jenks whispered "Alright, hold on." and leapt from the window, slowing his fatal fall with his
knifcles, he began to run across the rickety old bridge, Princess in tow.
The dragon heard a piercing scream coming from outside the castle, and a coy smile forged itself onto the beasts face.

Around the singing bard, a small corwd had gathered, street performance was rare on the citadel, and novel, the dedication of creating a fire place to stand by
attracted more curious eyes, behind them, a federation officer's eyes peered over the see the commotion.

Jenks covered the princesses mouth in an effort to stop her screaming, which seemed to work, he trapsed along the rickety wooden bridge with Helana in tow.
The Dragon surged through its keep, halting it's collosal body before the grand doors, it peered through the crack, to see a dirty suit of bronze armour, the Dragon coyly smiled again, preparing to play with his food.

Jenks continued down onto the large platform of black, igneous rock he had come from, and began gasping for air, letting Helana down, he fell to his tentacles.
"Oh good lord." panted Jenks.
He looked suprisingly good for a Quiboan who had just fallen over in exhaustion, Helana thought.

"Good thing yore prayin' sunshoine." came a grizzled, familiar voice, from behind a collosal ballista.
"It's Tim, it's Tim the baliff, and i'm dead, and i'm going to be fucking impaled." thought Jenks
"Oh for fu-" Jenks began
The main gate of the castle exploded in a ball of fire, a charred suit of bronze armour flew away, landing between Tim's great ballista and
Jenks' collpased frame.

Tim looked over at the shower of bricks from the top of Helmoor Keep, and the bubbling magma surrounding the bottom of Helmoor keep, and the large dragon currently
leaving Helmoor Keep.

Tim turned away from Helmoor Keep, left his ballista, and began to sprint for his life.

Jenks heard the explosion before he saw it, he turned around and pushed himself up to his feet, he saw the dragon struggling to free it's huge frame from a shattered
stone arch.

Jenks was helped to hit feet by Helana, and he fell over the abandoned ballista, dragging himself round to the firing position.

His vision was hazy, the heat was getting to him, he positioned the ballista to fire at the Dragon's neck, and collapsed.

Helanan ran over to the ballista, still running high on adrenaline and fear, she pulled back a collosal latch on the great machine, and pulled down on the trigger.

The audience in the citadel began to clap and the conclusion of the tale of Sir Jenks, coppers were passed into the strange performers hat.

Another copper stared down at him, the federation officer, he walked over to the now alone performer.

"Ahh, greetings fellow, i'm afraid the show foe today is over, howev-"

The baton came down quickly, and hard, and Tarbid Jenks was no more.

14- Tarbid Jenks